Ch 05 THE ‘SOCIAL’ (un)HAPPINESS PART 2 : EXPECTATIONS

“Expectations Hurts”! .

We live with a web of expectations, and they come in various varieties. There are expectations, we have with the rest of the world, be it our spouse, family, friends, employer, government, UNO, and off-course with GOD. Then there are expectations that the world has with us, be it our job title, work performances, lifestyle, the kid’s life or even the pet’s life. The world, starting from our family to the stranger on social media, need us to be in a certain way, which in most cases is different than what we have managed.

We get irritated, sometimes even angry when our expectation with others is not fulfilled in the way we wanted them to do it. It can be a paid service that does not come out as it should have, or some of our trusted friend or family did not stand for us when we needed them. The cause of pain here is not what other’s have done, its the expectation that we had with them to do. So essentially we our-self are the cause of our pain.

Similarly, at times the world expects us to do something we don’t like or relate with. Such situations result in a series of disappointments both for us and for the person imposing the desire. This can happen both at work and at home. Even our loved ones can have misplaced expectations from us. Honesty is the only way out, it may cause temporary discomfort, but will save a lot of pain in the long run.

The next type and most impacting expectations are those that we have with ourselves. We want to become like someone, top the class, reach a certain job status, buy a house, improve our health, learn to play the guitar, tour the world, love someone with all our heart, make our parents happy or perhaps do it all. The list is long and ever evolving. These wishes keep us moving and there is nothing that can please us better than achieving them. It is not always easy to attain all you want, at the time you want it. The key to happiness is to have the expectations balanced with our abilities, pace and requirements. It’s perfectly alright to be content if our needs are fulfilled, our talents are utilised, and a certain something is not achieved yet. After all, we need to have something to look forward to.

Stay happy Stay Dreaming!!

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CH 03 Taking care of ‘SELF’ is not Selfish

We often place the family, the work or the someone special ahead of our own well-being and self-care. After all, compromise is thought to be part of a happy(social) life. But if somewhere deep inside we always resent doing it. At times such regret surface itself out and blow off the happy(social) life, we have worked hard to maintain. No one wins in such a situation.

What went wrong in the above case is that we have ignored our own interests or health. That is SELF, the first and foremost factor of our Happiness.

If we get sick, say a little cold, everything starts to look annoying. Happiness is a distant thought with all the sneezing and headache. That itself is sufficient to establish the importance of good health. As a Happiness factor SELF comes to 25% or even more important to make and keep us happy.

Health has nothing to do with looks, colour or shape of the body. It’s more about feeling good from within, Having no body part particularly aching, Being able to digest our food, sleep comfortably and on time. Like the Britannia ad goes “eat healthily, think better”.

Well, we need to add more sunlight, fresh air and green grass to our lives. Monitor, improve and maintain both physical and mental health. That is the foremost priority to keep us capable of being happy, everyone and everything else comes next. Putting it more bluntly, if something is not going to matter after we die, it’s not worth dying for.

Let us also address the more superficial part of the SELF factor. That is our looks, the way we dress, maintain and present ourselves to the world. The time and energy we spend on self-maintenance also indirectly reflect how much we value ourselves. We certainly feel good and happy when we look better.

It’s not selfish to invest in health and looks of self, before tending to others. Because a happy mind and a healthy body can be more useful than a strained one. Honestly, we will be able to contribute more constructively towards family and friends if we are happy with ourselves first.

I will take upon the SOCIAL factor in next chapter. Thanks for reading, your comments and opinions are welcome

Stay Healthy and look good.

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Ch 02. Why focus on Happiness at all ?

Before heading to the factors of happiness in details, let’s talk about why at all, are we trying to work on an emotion?

Well to start, first we have to acknowledge that happiness is not just an emotion. It’s also part of overall well-being. When we are happy, it makes us feel good and somewhere we feel healed, emotionally or psychologically. This indirectly improve our physical health or at least we want to improve it positively, by taking conscious efforts.

Happiness can be a result of one or more of various feelings. We could experience happiness when we are excited or satisfied or empowered or justified or respected or just healthy. The list is endless as it’s anything that can make us feel good. These are all reactive happiness, that means we are happy when something good happens.

What we are trying to accomplish here is approch to proactive happiness. What I mean by it, is first we become happy by choice and then make the good happen. There is no magic and it won’t solve any problems by itself. What this can do to us, is give us better presence of mind, probably little more confidence and a drive to relish every small sept that we succeed to take.

I believe, I made the point and I can proceed with analysing the factors of our happiness from next post.

Thanks for reading. Please provide your comments below.

Stay happy, Stay healthy.

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