Ch 05 THE ‘SOCIAL’ (un)HAPPINESS PART 2 : EXPECTATIONS

“Expectations Hurts”! .

We live with a web of expectations, and they come in various varieties. There are expectations, we have with the rest of the world, be it our spouse, family, friends, employer, government, UNO, and off-course with GOD. Then there are expectations that the world has with us, be it our job title, work performances, lifestyle, the kid’s life or even the pet’s life. The world, starting from our family to the stranger on social media, need us to be in a certain way, which in most cases is different than what we have managed.

We get irritated, sometimes even angry when our expectation with others is not fulfilled in the way we wanted them to do it. It can be a paid service that does not come out as it should have, or some of our trusted friend or family did not stand for us when we needed them. The cause of pain here is not what other’s have done, its the expectation that we had with them to do. So essentially we our-self are the cause of our pain.

Similarly, at times the world expects us to do something we don’t like or relate with. Such situations result in a series of disappointments both for us and for the person imposing the desire. This can happen both at work and at home. Even our loved ones can have misplaced expectations from us. Honesty is the only way out, it may cause temporary discomfort, but will save a lot of pain in the long run.

The next type and most impacting expectations are those that we have with ourselves. We want to become like someone, top the class, reach a certain job status, buy a house, improve our health, learn to play the guitar, tour the world, love someone with all our heart, make our parents happy or perhaps do it all. The list is long and ever evolving. These wishes keep us moving and there is nothing that can please us better than achieving them. It is not always easy to attain all you want, at the time you want it. The key to happiness is to have the expectations balanced with our abilities, pace and requirements. It’s perfectly alright to be content if our needs are fulfilled, our talents are utilised, and a certain something is not achieved yet. After all, we need to have something to look forward to.

Stay happy Stay Dreaming!!

CH4

CH6

The handicapped fish…

My husband have great love for aquariums and fishes. We have 4 fishes, they live happily in their modest abode, swimming is all directions, spreading happiness.

Pets can be real stress buster, with all their innocence and basic need of love and food. Fishes are least maintenance pets. You can watch an aquarium for endless hours without getting bored.

One unfortunate day one of the red cap got caught in the filter suction. My husband rescued her from the filter but she lost her forearm (front right wing) and the injury left her weak and dis-balanced. We placed her in a separate bowl with extra medicine hoping to help her heal.

We monitored her, she was alive, breathing but not trying to move. Next few days her situation didn’t change. We had to lift her up and take to the food which she would feed on. Her wound started to heal. But she won’t move on her own.

After a week I started to think that probably she is lacking motivation to move. She still have four other wings and a long tail in more or less perfect condition. But she was not making enough effort to learn swimming with her imbalanced body.

I am no expert on fish psychology but may be she was too focused on her one broken wing or depressed from the fact that she have to stay apart from her friends. The fact was her friends would have killed her while she was not able to defend herself by moving around. So putting her back was not an option.

I tried giving her a little physiotherapy by putting her in a tub with more flat surface and chasing her around in the water. Well she did responded by swimming to avoid me, yet without registering the fact that she could do the same without me chasing her. May be she is just lazy. After all she gets her food in her mouth without lifting a wing.

She is still recovering and I am still hopeful to rehabilitate her with her friends. But unless she make some efforts of her own, it seems quite distant.

In our life we often have something that goes wrong and we tend to focus all our energies towards feeling sad and low about it. While ignoring many other aspects of life that can lift our spirits. A little effort in right direction may probably help balance the loss and put us back on track. Also there are always friends or family ready to help you bounce back. Never loose hope, never loose faith and don’t become lazy.

stay healthy, stay happy !!!