यादें कुछ भूली भूली सी..

हो रहा सही , सो रहा अभी,
जो कहा नहीं, सो रहा नहीं,
है वो जगह कहाँ , जाना जहाँ,
वो था कब, जब में भी था वहाँ,
आँखों में स्वप्न अधूरे हैं,
कहने को शब्द न पूरे हैं ,
यादें कुछ भूली भूली सी,
बातें कुछ हैं गोधूलि सी,
कुछ खींच रहा मेरे भीतर,
किस तरह में वहाँ जाऊ पर?
मन को अपने समझाता हूँ,
फिर भी क्यों उधर ही जाता हूँ,
जीवन में आगे बढ़ने को,
किसी और की जंग को लड़ने को,
छोड़ा मैंने जो घर था अपना,
अब लगता है भूला सा सपना,
जो याद बहुत तो आता है,
पर अब उससे कोई न नाता है,
जीवन की राहो में आगे,
एक अंधी दौड़ में थे भागे,
अब जब, सब कर, घर ही बसाना था,
तो फिर छोड़ा ही क्यों वो आसियाना था ?
हो कोई अगर तेरे घर पर,
दे ध्यान अभी इस अवसर पर,
यादें वो न भूली भूली हों,
सूनी न सब गोधूलि हों,
इस कारण जाते रहना है,
घर अपने आते रहना है,

©sarikatripathi
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Thanks for reading.. !!

CH 11 Health for Happiness

Weak health impairs the ability to live fully and enjoy anything. It also takes away the flavours of the world, including taste from the food, adventure from travel and other pleasures. When we are not feeling healthy, any achievement at work or personal life, how so big, it seems less relevant, compared to when we are happy and healthy.

Therefore health is always more important than the wealth of any other kind.

Our health becomes vulnerable naturally as we grow older, but it becomes weak only by our neglect. We try to blame our genes and in turn our parents for most of the weaknesses in our body. However, the biggest weakness is actually laziness that no one inherits. Bad health is not only about the elevated sugar and BP levels, but it’s also the anxiety and sadness. Lately, mental health has been recognised as important as physical health.

The biggest weakness is actually laziness that no one inherits.

In the world of hustle and stress maintaining either physical and mental health is a challenge. It is in-fact a thriving business line in which professional (read as commercial) solution providers are now making huge profits at the expense of our laziness. We don’t tend to exercise unless we have huge guilt of paying enough money for it, while the same results could be achieved by self-motivation with much less money.

Out of my personal experience in the last few months, where I had been diagnosed with something I had to get surgically removed. I had to get hospitalized, undergo surgery and a lot of mental trauma before it. Even the recovery period have been both mentally and physically challenging. While I don’t want to get into medical details of it, I want to emphasise that how I willingly transformed my eating habits with self-restraint and put those extra efforts in preparing the ‘healthy’ snacks when it became medically required by the sign of a doctor. Although I had always known the benefits of the same food and eating habits but never seriously put them in my routine.

I also want to add that although the ‘healthy’ food items are on the costly side of the grocery budget, I have saved more by avoiding outside food. I am waiting to gain enough strength to be able to exercise more regularly to avoid any such situation in future, and I hope to remain motivated this time.

Same as time, health is a commodity we can’t measure, yet we are spending it every day, not always for fruitful purposes. But unlike time with little efforts, we can preserve and also reserve the health to enjoy life in a much more fulfilling way. Most important to recognise that health can be lost in irreparable ways, so preserving health is not something we can postpone until a medical situation arises.

Preserving health is not something we can postpone until a medical situation arises.

Needless to say, a healthy person is much happier in the same situations than an unhealthy person. So for happiness to remain in our lives we need to heed to our health.

Stay Healthy and Stay Happy… !!
Thanks for reading

Ch 10

Ch 12


CH 10 Happiness Around Painful Relationship

Some relations we get by birth and more we choose from what we get on the way in life. Relationships are supposed to add flavour to life, a sense of support and belongingness comes along. It can be friendship, love or simple acquaintances, all play their roles, that can make or ruin the day. The intensity of pain or happiness is dependent on the attachment with the related person.

‘Bad choice of relationship in life is like the extra salt in an otherwise perfect dish. It can ruin the taste so bad, we feel, it was better when there was no salt at all.’

All relationships need efforts from both sides to sustain. We need to identify first if a relationship is worth fighting for or its for best to let go and move on. Doing so may be more complex then it may sound. But the painful relations, also popularly known as “toxic relations”, are usually un-repairable as they involve some kind of exploitation of one person by the other. It may be financial, political, social, or emotional exploitation where one person gains out of another person’s pain. Such relations are like infections, which can be fatal if not treated and removed.

It is not only the relationship in itself but also the social implications that come with it, that makes it complicated to resolve the issues. Even if breaking such relation may cause discomfort, one needs to focus on long term happiness benefits.

A simple trick I use to test the worth of any relationship is to imagine the loss that other person will feel if I am not around. ‘If he/she doesn’t care if you die(leave), he/she is not worth not dying for’. Turns out, it’s more simple then we thought.

‘when someone doesn’t care if you die, he/she is not worth not dying for’

While the relationships are meant to be mutual and that needs you to contribute your share with honesty and dedication. Its crucial not to loose sight of your happiness over the responsibility of sustaining the relationship. If you continuously find yourself unhappy then some change is required in any relationship. Change may not be drastic or negative always, but just something new or different to freshen up the relations and create scope for mutual happiness.

Blood relations and family ties are something that can not be changed or replaced. When such relations are painful they are in fact too painful. There is only a option to distance from this pain to be able to focus on one’s own happiness. If someone or even everyone call you selfish for that, be selfish … !!

Most important step in the journey towards sustainable happiness is to forgive and not forget who have hurt you.

Stay happy, stay selfish.. !!

Thanks for reading .. !!

CH 9

CH 11

दिल से दिल तक … 💞

दिल में चुबता सा एक ख्याल है , जो जाता नहीं,

कितना भी समझाऊं मैं ये दिल मुस्कुराता नहीं,

तुमको चाहता भी है और नाराज भी तुमसे रहता है,

जानना चाहता है ये, की दिल तुम्हारा क्या कहता है,

दूरियों की मजबूरी है या नजदीकियों से डरते हो,

क्या बात है? की जो इस राह से तुम कम गुजरते हो,

आते कभी फुर्सत से तो दिल की दिल से बात हो जाती,

नाराजगी भी इसकी शायद कुछ दूर लगे हाथ हो जाती,

पर तुम ख़ामोशी को ही हथियार की तरह चलाते हो,

कहते कुछ नहीं बस इस दिल को और थोड़ा जलाते हो,

इससे तो एक बार में ही ये किस्सा तमाम कर देते,

मोह्हबत है इससे कहकर इस दिल का काम कर देते,

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CH 9: Happiness Without Self ?

We all want to be happy. But what if, the factor of Self is missing. If someone does not value himself or herself. Is happiness even possible? I guess there is always a way, one should have the will to find it.

There can be one possibility, ‘being selfless‘. A person who has found salvation and devoted oneself to the greater good and spiritual explorations. There is no ‘self’ but there are happiness and peace. Although not impossible, this is a less probable option that most of us can relate with.

Other then the above, there is no happiness, unless we are happy with ourselves, to at least a minimum level of satisfaction. Lack of self-esteem is one of the major factors when we begin to doubt ourself, the satisfaction levels drop drastically. There is a lot of literature and self-help content available online and offline to help people realise their worth and revive their self-esteem. My personal favourite are listed below…..

Let Past be Past, easy and straight. Whatever have already happened can not be changed so crying over it, is counter productive. Best is to take the lesson and move on.

Out of control is Out of concern. Whatever is beyond your control and not infulenced by your actions is better left to happen. There is no use bothering about it.

Work on what you can change. Start with yourself, your looks, the way you talk, what you eat or anything that will make the situation better. Then Help others. Helping Others will raise self-esteem very quickly.

Be content. While there are genuine cases of depression and dispare, there are also lot of unnecessary grieving over non essential accomplishments. To keep world a happy place, people need to learn to diffrentiate between sorrow for necesscity and luxury.

Change the Reference Point. When you find yourself completely helpless, so much so that happiness seems impossible. Change the point of reference from where you are measuring your accomplishments. Best not to compare with others and try to better yourself from yesterday and not from 10 years before.

Its not your fault, and even if it is, forgive yourself. All that goes wrong is not always your doing. There is the whole universe responsible for what all happens. If someone has been in an accident and lost a leg or someone is suffering from an incurable disease, the will to enjoy life is hard to find. The First step is to believe in a better life and forgive all the causes of the pain, including yourself.

In short alter the prespective that suit to your situation to see the bright side. Just when you find the will to work on the Self Factor, improve everyday and make a happy life out of whatever situation you are in. Lastly seek help when you can not do it yourself, just like we take a cab when we can’t walk home.

Life is Beautiful believe it and Live it.

Stay Focused and Stay Healthy.. !!

CH 8

CH 10

CH 8 The Formula to the Balance of Happiness

The sense of happiness depends on how we are feeling. All positive emotions add to the happy state and all negative emotions reduce the chances to feel happy. Being content is not in human nature. However that is the source of all the glory that humanity has achieved, it also causes all the misery that exists in the world.

Life is not perfect. In fact, it’s not even smooth or easy. It’s funny that all of us are in constant stress over this consistent fact. To put it simply, life is never the way we want it to be, and this is because we always want something better then what we already have. A better location, a better job, a better house, a better set of clothes, a better environment, a better family (if that was even possible). The list is never-ending, so are the desires.

I discussed on the factors that influence our happiness in Ch 3 to Ch7 (links added below) of this blog. Now I would like to go back to the equation I introduced in Ch1 Fact-ors that influence our Happiness. Where assuming all factors are equally important and are contributing 25% each positively to our happiness, i.e.

Self(25%) + Home(25%) + Social(25%) + Family(25%) = Happiness(100%)

We may attain a state of 100% happiness, well that would be close to Nirvana. This is the ideal, hypothetical and in-fact impractical situation. But let us keep a benchmark of 60% to be reasonably happy, anything more than that is towards Bliss and less than that is the scope of improvement that we should focus on for our reasonable happiness.

So let us get real with the equation. One can have the varying status of contribution and satisfaction on each factor. Not all factors may contribute equally, Self maybe 30%, Social 30%, Home 25% and family maybe 15% for some people as a factor of importance and a very different balance for someone else. Similarly, satisfaction levels will be varied from person to person and from time to time.

Let’s say, for me, all factors are 25% important and I am 10% happy with my health and well being, 10% happy with my job and social status, 20% happy with my family and 15% happy with my home, husband and marriage. Adding all I have 55% happiness and 45% scope of improvement in my happiness.

Self(10%) + Home(15%) + Social(10%) + Family(20%) = Happiness(55%)

But had it been in my hand, I would have already improved my situation. Well that’s not entirely true, of the 45%, probably 30% is beyond my control, yet I can work on the rest 15%. If I could make improvement of only 5% in any one of the factors, I will be reasonably happy, which in turn might help improve another couple of percent on the health factor.

Just to mention here, the grading and % check is as per self-assessment and there is no certified tool to measure exact happiness levels. After all, it is a feeling and can’t be measured by anyone other than the person experiencing it. The key is to identify and work on the improvements that can be done to increase the percentage.

Most of the time we are lacking one or more of the factors contributing towards our happiness. Some of us have non-supporting families, others have toxic relationships, someone has a non-rewarding job, and someone is too sick to enjoy life. Even the one who has all the riches lacks something somewhere. So to maintain a balance in happiness, we will have to keep our desires listed and focus flexible on improvement.

In the next few Chapters in the sequence of this post, I shall try to discuss the variations of the equations with respect to some of ‘what if’ situations. Of which a few that I have personally faced and some other which I have known about from other people’s experiences. I am expecting a lot more of ‘what if’ situations in comments from the readers.

Thanks For reading. Previous Chapters links added below.

Stay tuned, Stay Happy …!!

Ch 0 The thought of being happy

Ch 1 Fact-ors that influence our Happiness

Ch 2 Why focus on Happiness at all ?

Ch 3 Taking care of ‘SELF’ is not Selfish

Ch 4 THE ‘SOCIAL’ (un)HAPPINESS PART 1 : JOB

Ch 5 THE ‘SOCIAL’ (un)HAPPINESS PART 2 : EXPECTATIONS

Ch 6 THE HAPPY HOME !

Ch 7 Family: The Ultimate Support Group

Ch 9 Happiness Without Self ?