राखी पर यादें…

बचपन में साथ ही पढ़ते थे, साथ ही खेला करते थे,

फिर करके हाथापाई , माता की मार भी झेला करते थे,

तुम भाई भी थे और मित्र भी थे,

हर नये साल के मानचित्र भी थे,

एक होड़ तुम्ही से रहती थी, तुमसे बेहतर बन जाने की,

तुम आगे आगे चले सदा, मेरे लिए राह बनाते आने की,

तुमने रक्षा करी नहीं कभी, मुझे समर्थ बनाया बस,

अपनी जंग आप ही जीतो, इतना समझाया बस,

स्कूल से कॉलेज तक की पढ़ाई, तुमसे सीखी कर कर लड़ाई,

घर का छूटना मेहसूस नहीं था, क्यूंकि कॉलेज में थे तुम भाई,

लगी नौकरी साथ छूटा, राह अलग हो गयी थी तब,

तुम गए अलग सहर को थे, में गयी अलग सहर थी जब,

वो प्यार रहा, वो नेह रहा , रोजाना फ़ोन पर बात रहीं ,

ऑफिस ऐसा मौसम वैसा, घर जाने की योजना कहीं ,

राखी पर मिल ही जाता था , मौका रसम निभाने का,

हक़ से अपना उपहार मिले , और खर्चा घूमने घुमाने का,

बदले तुम थोड़े जब , शादी का शुभ मुहूर्त आया,

अपने जीवन में नये रिश्तों को तुमने धीरे से अपनाया,

तुम ब्यस्त हुए फिर और भी ग्रास्थी की जिम्मेदारी में,

आपस में संकोच बढ़ा, दिन भर की मारा मारी में,

तुमसे ज्यादा बातें अब तो भाभी से हो जाती हैं,

तुम काम या आलस करते हो, बातें पीछे रह जाती हैं,

समय गया, सहर बदले, फिर सहज हम भी हो गए,

अपने जीवन के रिश्तों में, हम भी थोड़ा सा खो गए,

राखी अब भी मन जाती है, लिफाफे में हो या हाथ में,

भाई पर क्या हम अब वो मित्र नहीं जो कभी रहते थे साथ में?


Dedicated to my big brother.

“Love you bhai.. but had to say 🙄”

Thanks for reading….!!

Happy Rakshabandhan to all !!!!

प्यार का हक़… 💔❣️

प्यार मांग के नहीं मिलता, छीन लेने की चीज भी नहीं, तरस खा के दिया गया नेह, खुशियों का बीज भी नहीं,

प्यार का हक़ तो सबको है, पर मिलना आसान नहीं, क्यूंकि प्यार तो बस भावना है कोई सौदे का सामान नहीं,

प्यार करो तो मिल भी जाये, ऐसा भी जरूरी नहीं, रिश्तों के बंधन होते हैं पर प्यार कोई मजबूरी नहीं,

किसी के प्यार पर आश्रित होना समझदारी नहीं, क्यूंकि आपकी खुशी किसी और की जिम्मेदारी नहीं,


Only if love was not that complex ….!!

Lots of Love to all the readers… !!

Stay happy stay healthy .. !!

चाहत और  जिंदगी..🤗

मोहब्बत बहुत दिल में रही हमेशा, मुफ्त में किसीको दी  नहीं , और बराबर का सौदा मिला नहीं …

जिंदगी निकाल ली ये जानने में, की करना क्या नहीं था हमको, क्या करना है, ये अभी तक पता नहीं…


Thanks for reading..!

CH 9: Happiness Without Self ?

We all want to be happy. But what if, the factor of Self is missing. If someone does not value himself or herself. Is happiness even possible? I guess there is always a way, one should have the will to find it.

There can be one possibility, ‘being selfless‘. A person who has found salvation and devoted oneself to the greater good and spiritual explorations. There is no ‘self’ but there are happiness and peace. Although not impossible, this is a less probable option that most of us can relate with.

Other then the above, there is no happiness, unless we are happy with ourselves, to at least a minimum level of satisfaction. Lack of self-esteem is one of the major factors when we begin to doubt ourself, the satisfaction levels drop drastically. There is a lot of literature and self-help content available online and offline to help people realise their worth and revive their self-esteem. My personal favourite are listed below…..

Let Past be Past, easy and straight. Whatever have already happened can not be changed so crying over it, is counter productive. Best is to take the lesson and move on.

Out of control is Out of concern. Whatever is beyond your control and not infulenced by your actions is better left to happen. There is no use bothering about it.

Work on what you can change. Start with yourself, your looks, the way you talk, what you eat or anything that will make the situation better. Then Help others. Helping Others will raise self-esteem very quickly.

Be content. While there are genuine cases of depression and dispare, there are also lot of unnecessary grieving over non essential accomplishments. To keep world a happy place, people need to learn to diffrentiate between sorrow for necesscity and luxury.

Change the Reference Point. When you find yourself completely helpless, so much so that happiness seems impossible. Change the point of reference from where you are measuring your accomplishments. Best not to compare with others and try to better yourself from yesterday and not from 10 years before.

Its not your fault, and even if it is, forgive yourself. All that goes wrong is not always your doing. There is the whole universe responsible for what all happens. If someone has been in an accident and lost a leg or someone is suffering from an incurable disease, the will to enjoy life is hard to find. The First step is to believe in a better life and forgive all the causes of the pain, including yourself.

In short alter the prespective that suit to your situation to see the bright side. Just when you find the will to work on the Self Factor, improve everyday and make a happy life out of whatever situation you are in. Lastly seek help when you can not do it yourself, just like we take a cab when we can’t walk home.

Life is Beautiful believe it and Live it.

Stay Focused and Stay Healthy.. !!

CH 8

CH 10

CH 8 The Formula to the Balance of Happiness

The sense of happiness depends on how we are feeling. All positive emotions add to the happy state and all negative emotions reduce the chances to feel happy. Being content is not in human nature. However that is the source of all the glory that humanity has achieved, it also causes all the misery that exists in the world.

Life is not perfect. In fact, it’s not even smooth or easy. It’s funny that all of us are in constant stress over this consistent fact. To put it simply, life is never the way we want it to be, and this is because we always want something better then what we already have. A better location, a better job, a better house, a better set of clothes, a better environment, a better family (if that was even possible). The list is never-ending, so are the desires.

I discussed on the factors that influence our happiness in Ch 3 to Ch7 (links added below) of this blog. Now I would like to go back to the equation I introduced in Ch1 Fact-ors that influence our Happiness. Where assuming all factors are equally important and are contributing 25% each positively to our happiness, i.e.

Self(25%) + Home(25%) + Social(25%) + Family(25%) = Happiness(100%)

We may attain a state of 100% happiness, well that would be close to Nirvana. This is the ideal, hypothetical and in-fact impractical situation. But let us keep a benchmark of 60% to be reasonably happy, anything more than that is towards Bliss and less than that is the scope of improvement that we should focus on for our reasonable happiness.

So let us get real with the equation. One can have the varying status of contribution and satisfaction on each factor. Not all factors may contribute equally, Self maybe 30%, Social 30%, Home 25% and family maybe 15% for some people as a factor of importance and a very different balance for someone else. Similarly, satisfaction levels will be varied from person to person and from time to time.

Let’s say, for me, all factors are 25% important and I am 10% happy with my health and well being, 10% happy with my job and social status, 20% happy with my family and 15% happy with my home, husband and marriage. Adding all I have 55% happiness and 45% scope of improvement in my happiness.

Self(10%) + Home(15%) + Social(10%) + Family(20%) = Happiness(55%)

But had it been in my hand, I would have already improved my situation. Well that’s not entirely true, of the 45%, probably 30% is beyond my control, yet I can work on the rest 15%. If I could make improvement of only 5% in any one of the factors, I will be reasonably happy, which in turn might help improve another couple of percent on the health factor.

Just to mention here, the grading and % check is as per self-assessment and there is no certified tool to measure exact happiness levels. After all, it is a feeling and can’t be measured by anyone other than the person experiencing it. The key is to identify and work on the improvements that can be done to increase the percentage.

Most of the time we are lacking one or more of the factors contributing towards our happiness. Some of us have non-supporting families, others have toxic relationships, someone has a non-rewarding job, and someone is too sick to enjoy life. Even the one who has all the riches lacks something somewhere. So to maintain a balance in happiness, we will have to keep our desires listed and focus flexible on improvement.

In the next few Chapters in the sequence of this post, I shall try to discuss the variations of the equations with respect to some of ‘what if’ situations. Of which a few that I have personally faced and some other which I have known about from other people’s experiences. I am expecting a lot more of ‘what if’ situations in comments from the readers.

Thanks For reading. Previous Chapters links added below.

Stay tuned, Stay Happy …!!

Ch 0 The thought of being happy

Ch 1 Fact-ors that influence our Happiness

Ch 2 Why focus on Happiness at all ?

Ch 3 Taking care of ‘SELF’ is not Selfish




Ch 7 Family: The Ultimate Support Group

Ch 9 Happiness Without Self ?

सासु (माँ)…

हर माँ में एक सास छुपी रहती है, जिससे सिर्फ उसकी बहु दुखी रहती है,

किसी और को ये रूप नहीं दिखता, टी बी सीरियल का मसाला जिससे है हर रोज बिकता,

सास तब तक माँ नहीं बन पाती, जब तक उसको बहु में बेटी नजर नहीं आती,

बेटी के लिए जो अंगारो पर भी चल जाती है, बहु को सिर्फ सोता देख न जाने क्यों जल जाती है?

जबकि बेटी उनकी परवरिश में सीखी होती है , फिर बहु के कपड़ो पर घर की साख क्यों टिकी होतीहै ?

बेटी तो अब अपने घर में नहीं पराई होती है, पर बहु फिर भी दुसरे घर की ही आयी होती है,

बेटी की सौ गलतियां छुपाती है, फिर बहु के सही को भी गलत क्यों बताती है?

बेटे पर माँ अपना हक़ रोज जताती है, इस चक्कर में बहु की सासु माँ बन कर रह जाती है,

बहु को अपने मापदंडो पर तोलती है, हमारे यहाँ ऐसे होता है, बार बार यही बोलती है,

एक होड़ सी लगाती है और अकेले ही दौड़ती है, जो खेल भी नहीं रही उसका बस दिल तोड़ती है,

बहु सीधी हो तो चुप चाप रम जाती है, सासु माँ के हिसाब से अपना भी घर चलाती है,

पर अगर बहु समर्थ हो तो चालाक कहलाती है, सारी रिस्तेदारी में सक़ की निगाह से देखी जाती है,

उसकी एक गलती की ताक में जमाना रहता है, उसका तरीका गलत था ये सबको बताना रहता है,

आपने हिसाब से फिर भी हर काम करती जाती है, और सासु माँ को माँ भी यही बना पाती है,

बहु, बेटे की बीवी होती है, माँ नहीं, पति को पालने की इसको कोई चाह नहीं,

बेटे को पाल के आपने व्यस्क कर दिया है, आपने खाने और कपड़ो का ध्यान रखने के लायक कर दिया है,

जो दर्जा माँ का है वो माँ का ही रहना है, इसमें होड़ लगाके कष्ट क्यों सहना है,

आपके यहाँ जैसे जो होता है, वो भी ठीक है, पर हर वही काम अलग तरीके से भी सटीक है,

छोटी छोटी बात के लिए रिश्ते भिगाडना कहाँ सही होगा, चाय कब बनेगी, फ्रिज में कितना दूध कितना दही होगा,

बहु को सिर्फ स्नेह, सास को सिर्फ आदर की चाह हो, अहम् को किनारे करें तब घर में खुशियों की राह हो,


don’t judge, just comment 🙂

Stay happy and stay healthy !

I am still me .. !!🎭

With all the changes those needed to be, from within I am still me…

The job, the paychecks and the bills, the vicious cycle, that each month kills…

The love, the marriage and the house, life make me run like cat and mouse…

The God, the prayer and the peace, make me wonder when will I reach…

I loved to read, I loved to write, I still do, just not as much I might…

With all the Chaos, with all the pain, I still wait for the monsoon rain…

The dust may clear, the air may clean, a healthy life like I always dream…

The morning tea, the midnight supper, without a guilt of weight or sugar…

The hard I try, harder it gets, I pursue nonetheless without regrets….

I am still me, while the changes remain, making me who I am and who I can….


Thanks for reading..

Stay healthy stay happy..!!