रोजाना (cont. )


वही चाहना वही बहाना, रोजाना,
वही रुलाना वही मनाना रोजाना,
थक कर सब छोड़ अकेले चल देना,
फिर लौट के प्यार सजाना रोजाना,

वही दर्द और वही दवाई रोजाना,
वही उद्यम और वही थकाइ रोजाना,
श्रम भर बेतन पाने की खातिर,
सेहत की फिर वही रुसवाई रोजाना,



रोजाना (1st set)

Thanks for reading.. !!

Stay in love, stay healthy .. !!

CH 10 Happiness Around Painful Relationship

Some relations we get by birth and more we choose from what we get on the way in life. Relationships are supposed to add flavour to life, a sense of support and belongingness comes along. It can be friendship, love or simple acquaintances, all play their roles, that can make or ruin the day. The intensity of pain or happiness is dependent on the attachment with the related person.

‘Bad choice of relationship in life is like the extra salt in an otherwise perfect dish. It can ruin the taste so bad, we feel, it was better when there was no salt at all.’

All relationships need efforts from both sides to sustain. We need to identify first if a relationship is worth fighting for or its for best to let go and move on. Doing so may be more complex then it may sound. But the painful relations, also popularly known as “toxic relations”, are usually un-repairable as they involve some kind of exploitation of one person by the other. It may be financial, political, social, or emotional exploitation where one person gains out of another person’s pain. Such relations are like infections, which can be fatal if not treated and removed.

It is not only the relationship in itself but also the social implications that come with it, that makes it complicated to resolve the issues. Even if breaking such relation may cause discomfort, one needs to focus on long term happiness benefits.

A simple trick I use to test the worth of any relationship is to imagine the loss that other person will feel if I am not around. ‘If he/she doesn’t care if you die(leave), he/she is not worth not dying for’. Turns out, it’s more simple then we thought.

‘when someone doesn’t care if you die, he/she is not worth not dying for’

While the relationships are meant to be mutual and that needs you to contribute your share with honesty and dedication. Its crucial not to loose sight of your happiness over the responsibility of sustaining the relationship. If you continuously find yourself unhappy then some change is required in any relationship. Change may not be drastic or negative always, but just something new or different to freshen up the relations and create scope for mutual happiness.

Blood relations and family ties are something that can not be changed or replaced. When such relations are painful they are in fact too painful. There is only a option to distance from this pain to be able to focus on one’s own happiness. If someone or even everyone call you selfish for that, be selfish … !!

Most important step in the journey towards sustainable happiness is to forgive and not forget who have hurt you.

Stay happy, stay selfish.. !!

Thanks for reading .. !!

CH 9

CH 11

दिल से दिल तक … 💞

दिल में चुबता सा एक ख्याल है , जो जाता नहीं,

कितना भी समझाऊं मैं ये दिल मुस्कुराता नहीं,

तुमको चाहता भी है और नाराज भी तुमसे रहता है,

जानना चाहता है ये, की दिल तुम्हारा क्या कहता है,

दूरियों की मजबूरी है या नजदीकियों से डरते हो,

क्या बात है? की जो इस राह से तुम कम गुजरते हो,

आते कभी फुर्सत से तो दिल की दिल से बात हो जाती,

नाराजगी भी इसकी शायद कुछ दूर लगे हाथ हो जाती,

पर तुम ख़ामोशी को ही हथियार की तरह चलाते हो,

कहते कुछ नहीं बस इस दिल को और थोड़ा जलाते हो,

इससे तो एक बार में ही ये किस्सा तमाम कर देते,

मोह्हबत है इससे कहकर इस दिल का काम कर देते,


प्यार का हक़… 💔❣️

प्यार मांग के नहीं मिलता, छीन लेने की चीज भी नहीं,

तरस खा के दिया गया नेह, खुशियों का बीज भी नहीं,

प्यार का हक़ तो सबको है, पर मिलना आसान नहीं,

क्यूंकि प्यार तो बस भावना है कोई सौदे का सामान नहीं,

प्यार करो तो मिल भी जाये, ऐसा भी जरूरी नहीं,

रिश्तों के बंधन होते हैं पर प्यार कोई मजबूरी नहीं,

किसी के प्यार पर आश्रित होना समझदारी नहीं,

क्यूंकि आपकी खुशी किसी और की जिम्मेदारी नहीं,


Only if love was not that complex ….!!

Lots of Love to all the readers… !!

Stay happy stay healthy .. !!

मित्र हो ऐसा… 🤝

मित्र हो ऐसा जो मन खोले , कड़वा भी हो पर सच बोले ,

साथ रहे पर हाथ ना दे, गलत करूँ तो साथ ना दे,

दे धीर और उत्साह भी दे, आगे बढ़ने की चाह भी दे,

राह दिखाए जो नेक ही हो, ऐसा हो मित्र, चाहे एक ही हो,


Thanks for reading .. !!

Happy Friendship Day.. !!

CH 8 The Formula to the Balance of Happiness

The sense of happiness depends on how we are feeling. All positive emotions add to the happy state and all negative emotions reduce the chances to feel happy. Being content is not in human nature. However that is the source of all the glory that humanity has achieved, it also causes all the misery that exists in the world.

Life is not perfect. In fact, it’s not even smooth or easy. It’s funny that all of us are in constant stress over this consistent fact. To put it simply, life is never the way we want it to be, and this is because we always want something better then what we already have. A better location, a better job, a better house, a better set of clothes, a better environment, a better family (if that was even possible). The list is never-ending, so are the desires.

I discussed on the factors that influence our happiness in Ch 3 to Ch7 (links added below) of this blog. Now I would like to go back to the equation I introduced in Ch1 Fact-ors that influence our Happiness. Where assuming all factors are equally important and are contributing 25% each positively to our happiness, i.e.

Self(25%) + Home(25%) + Social(25%) + Family(25%) = Happiness(100%)

We may attain a state of 100% happiness, well that would be close to Nirvana. This is the ideal, hypothetical and in-fact impractical situation. But let us keep a benchmark of 60% to be reasonably happy, anything more than that is towards Bliss and less than that is the scope of improvement that we should focus on for our reasonable happiness.

So let us get real with the equation. One can have the varying status of contribution and satisfaction on each factor. Not all factors may contribute equally, Self maybe 30%, Social 30%, Home 25% and family maybe 15% for some people as a factor of importance and a very different balance for someone else. Similarly, satisfaction levels will be varied from person to person and from time to time.

Let’s say, for me, all factors are 25% important and I am 10% happy with my health and well being, 10% happy with my job and social status, 20% happy with my family and 15% happy with my home, husband and marriage. Adding all I have 55% happiness and 45% scope of improvement in my happiness.

Self(10%) + Home(15%) + Social(10%) + Family(20%) = Happiness(55%)

But had it been in my hand, I would have already improved my situation. Well that’s not entirely true, of the 45%, probably 30% is beyond my control, yet I can work on the rest 15%. If I could make improvement of only 5% in any one of the factors, I will be reasonably happy, which in turn might help improve another couple of percent on the health factor.

Just to mention here, the grading and % check is as per self-assessment and there is no certified tool to measure exact happiness levels. After all, it is a feeling and can’t be measured by anyone other than the person experiencing it. The key is to identify and work on the improvements that can be done to increase the percentage.

Most of the time we are lacking one or more of the factors contributing towards our happiness. Some of us have non-supporting families, others have toxic relationships, someone has a non-rewarding job, and someone is too sick to enjoy life. Even the one who has all the riches lacks something somewhere. So to maintain a balance in happiness, we will have to keep our desires listed and focus flexible on improvement.

In the next few Chapters in the sequence of this post, I shall try to discuss the variations of the equations with respect to some of ‘what if’ situations. Of which a few that I have personally faced and some other which I have known about from other people’s experiences. I am expecting a lot more of ‘what if’ situations in comments from the readers.

Thanks For reading. Previous Chapters links added below.

Stay tuned, Stay Happy …!!

Ch 0 The thought of being happy

Ch 1 Fact-ors that influence our Happiness

Ch 2 Why focus on Happiness at all ?

Ch 3 Taking care of ‘SELF’ is not Selfish




Ch 7 Family: The Ultimate Support Group

Ch 9 Happiness Without Self ?

सासु (माँ)…

हर माँ में एक सास छुपी रहती है, जिससे सिर्फ उसकी बहु दुखी रहती है,

किसी और को ये रूप नहीं दिखता, टी बी सीरियल का मसाला जिससे है हर रोज बिकता,

सास तब तक माँ नहीं बन पाती, जब तक उसको बहु में बेटी नजर नहीं आती,

बेटी के लिए जो अंगारो पर भी चल जाती है, बहु को सिर्फ सोता देख न जाने क्यों जल जाती है?

जबकि बेटी उनकी परवरिश में सीखी होती है , फिर बहु के कपड़ो पर घर की साख क्यों टिकी होतीहै ?

बेटी तो अब अपने घर में नहीं पराई होती है, पर बहु फिर भी दुसरे घर की ही आयी होती है,

बेटी की सौ गलतियां छुपाती है, फिर बहु के सही को भी गलत क्यों बताती है?

बेटे पर माँ अपना हक़ रोज जताती है, इस चक्कर में बहु की सासु माँ बन कर रह जाती है,

बहु को अपने मापदंडो पर तोलती है, हमारे यहाँ ऐसे होता है, बार बार यही बोलती है,

एक होड़ सी लगाती है और अकेले ही दौड़ती है, जो खेल भी नहीं रही उसका बस दिल तोड़ती है,

बहु सीधी हो तो चुप चाप रम जाती है, सासु माँ के हिसाब से अपना भी घर चलाती है,

पर अगर बहु समर्थ हो तो चालाक कहलाती है, सारी रिस्तेदारी में सक़ की निगाह से देखी जाती है,

उसकी एक गलती की ताक में जमाना रहता है, उसका तरीका गलत था ये सबको बताना रहता है,

आपने हिसाब से फिर भी हर काम करती जाती है, और सासु माँ को माँ भी यही बना पाती है,

बहु, बेटे की बीवी होती है, माँ नहीं, पति को पालने की इसको कोई चाह नहीं,

बेटे को पाल के आपने व्यस्क कर दिया है, आपने खाने और कपड़ो का ध्यान रखने के लायक कर दिया है,

जो दर्जा माँ का है वो माँ का ही रहना है, इसमें होड़ लगाके कष्ट क्यों सहना है,

आपके यहाँ जैसे जो होता है, वो भी ठीक है, पर हर वही काम अलग तरीके से भी सटीक है,

छोटी छोटी बात के लिए रिश्ते भिगाडना कहाँ सही होगा, चाय कब बनेगी, फ्रिज में कितना दूध कितना दही होगा,

बहु को सिर्फ स्नेह, सास को सिर्फ आदर की चाह हो, अहम् को किनारे करें तब घर में खुशियों की राह हो,


don’t judge, just comment 🙂

Stay happy and stay healthy !